With COVID-19 still on the rise in many parts of the world, there are a shocking number of babies who have yet to meet their forever families as a result. The heartbreaking reality for one such family has opened many eyes to the importance of being there for one another in times of need, near and far. In late February, a gestational carrier in the US extended her loving arms even more than she and her family had planned to for the baby boy she had carried for 9 long months for a same-sex couple in China. Another family has their elderly parents in the states caring for their newborn son until they are able to travel to the US to finally meet the child.
A week before her due date, Gestational Carrier Sierra Martin received some heartbreaking news: The Intended Parents, a same-sex couple from China, would be unable to welcome their newborn baby boy, Steven, themselves due to the current international travel ban. They would have to wait, and Sierra’s family – her husband and two children – would be tasked with welcoming baby Steven into the world and into their home until the travel ban has been lifted. Sadly, this is the reality for countless other families who are expecting through surrogacy.
Following the birth, one of the biggest concerns with a gestational carrier looking after a baby for longer than she originally was intending is that there can be an attachment that forms with the baby in the very early stages of their life. With the intent of softening the transition to the intended parents when the time is right (and, of course, once travel bans have been lifted), some surrogacy organizations are delegating caretakers among their staff, rather than asking or expecting their gestational carriers to continue the necessary care of a newborn baby (or sometimes, babies), which can add a level of stress to her own family.
There is also growing concern from the intended parents’ perspective that bonding with a baby born through the use of a surrogate (after months of time lost as a result of the baby being temporarily raised by the gestational carrier or other surrogacy caretakers) will be an even greater challenge than it already is. Many worry that, because a baby isn’t in the same physical space as their intended parents, they will be much less likely to form that unbreakable bond once they are finally home with their forever families. The first 3 months of a baby’s life are instrumental in establishing the bonding process for the baby, as well as for the intended parents. The logistical challenges of the government shutdown due to COVID-19 means that many families are missing out on those precious early months of bonding.
Welcoming a baby into a family – whether biologically, through adoption, assisted reproduction, or surrogacy – is meant to be a joyous experience all around. Unfortunately, the current COVID-19 nightmare has cast a very dark cloud over this process for many intended parents, especially those who live abroad. We at The Surrogacy Center want to applaud and give high praise to those who have stepped up to care for newborn babies on a temporary basis until they are able to be introduced to their families. Â It is a very important job, and it will all be worth it when these children and their parents are finally brought together.
